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What are your traditions?

Whether it's the winter holiday season or another time of year, you've got traditions. We all do.

Your traditions might be those that you've shared with your family since you were a child and that you continue today with your own children. Your traditions may be new activities or practices that you developed more recently.

Traditions can be things like decorating your house and putting up a holiday tree the day after Thanksgiving. They may include preparing and eating particular foods on particular special days.

In our family, we sit in a big circle when it's one of our birthdays and take turns saying one thing we appreciate about the person who is having a birthday. This is a relatively new tradition, but it is one that we really enjoy and plan to continue.

Some traditions-- such as speaking our appreciation for the birthday person-- build connection and enhance relationships. While taking part in this family tradition of mine, I feel renewed love and gratitude for not only the family member who is having a birthday, but also for my entire family.

Other traditions come with a price.

For example, let's say that your tradition is to spend the holidays with a certain family member. This is just what you've always done and so you keep doing it. The trouble is, you and this family member each have old, festering resentments toward one another that make the visit (and your holidays) miserable.

The price of this tradition is that you dread the holidays and your anger and resentment about something that happened long ago becomes even more entrenched and painful.

Another holiday tradition that many of us, unintentionally, carry on is to overindulge. There is often an abundance of parties, events and gatherings to attend during the winter holidays. From Thanksgiving to Christmas, we eat, drink and buy presents merrily...until we have to pay the price.

Whether it's tight-fitting clothes, indigestion, regrets from drunken behavior or credit card bills we can't pay, the price is there.

As I said, traditions don't just happen around the winter holidays. Take a moment and think about what your traditions are and ask yourself if the price you pay keeping these traditions is worth it.

Always make conscious choices.

I cannot stress enough the importance of making conscious choices-- always and every time you make a decision. Acknowledge to yourself that continuing a tradition that may have even been passed down through your family is also a decision.

Be aware of the tradition decisions you make all of the time and give yourself permission to be more conscious about your choices.

The power is in the pause. When you come to a place where you are about to continue a tradition, pause and ask yourself if this is something you truly want to keep doing. If there is a price-- emotional, physical, financial or otherwise-- connected with the tradition, ask yourself if it is worth it to you.

When you give yourself time to go within and make a conscious choice, you're going to feel more empowered by whatever it is you decide to do. You're going to get more out of the experience or practice and you're going to enjoy it more too.

Do what brings you joy.

The saying goes that life is short, so make the most of each moment. In other words, why not make conscious choices that bring you joy as often as you can? These are great slogans, but not always easy to actually live.

There are responsibilities, expectations, dilemmas that have no easy (or joyful) answer. Make sure you give yourself that powerful pause instead of merely continuing on as you've always done-- or as your family has always done.

Make it your intention and ultimate goal in life to do what brings you joy. This might require you to be creative and think outside of your box.

For example, you might not want to abandon your great aunt during the holidays, even if spending time with her seems to suck the joy out and only bring you angst. You don't have to leave your loved one (who gets on your last nerve) alone for the holidays. Instead, you might shorten your visit. Stay for a the weekend instead of a week.

You can also get more joy from your traditions by being mindful of what you are consuming-- around the holidays and anytime. Whether it's eating treats, drinking alcoholic beverages or snapping up bargains, continue to ask yourself.... "Is this going to help me have a more joyful experience?"

Think long- and short-term as you honestly answer yourself.

Bring joy to what you do.

Ultimately, regardless of which traditions you choose to continue and which you choose to stop, YOU can bring a sense of joy to your life experience. When you really look at this, it's apparent that it's not the tradition itself that brings you joy (or doesn't)...it's you.

You bring joy to any experience you are having or you bring anger or irritation to that experience. Regardless of the situation, you can approach it with a sense of joy. If you can't get close to joy, then try for some appreciation and maybe contentment.

Think again about that annoying, hyper-critical great aunt. You could choose to alter your tradition of how long you visit her over the holidays. You could also challenge yourself to lighten up and infuse more joy into your time with her. This can start with your attitude and it can also involve some of that out of the box kind of thinking. For instance, plan some outings or activities to do together that might engage you all and keep the usual bickering to a minimum.

Some traditions come with a price. You can be mindful about which traditions are worth continuing and mindful about opening up to joy. It's up to you.